My brother’s girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it’s completely free if you’re in one of the “at risk” groups.
“What does that mean,” he asks. “It’s free if you’re gay,” he’s told. “Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or…?” “Just put in a check mark here.”
My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he’s stingy as it gets. So now he’s officially gay. Congrats bro.
“Doctor, give it to me straight” “You sure, there’s a fee” “… Give it to me gay”
when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest
children outside screaming: annoying but ultimately for the greater good. children need Going Outside and Screaming Time for proper emotional development. an auditory burden I am willing to bear
neighbor with his car he made louder on purpose: jail for neighbor. jail for ten thousand years
another important thing to remember is 1) u can pick up any hobby at any point in ur life and get outstandingly good at it & 2) the project u’ve been working on & aren’t pleased w the current outcome so far will not be your last. u will draw/crochet/paint/sculpt/write another piece, and another, and you will have many chances to be fully content w your craft. so you should cherish the joy of making art instead of worrying ab the results & think ab how lovely it is that we’re all vessels for artistry and we can share the divine act of creation!!!!!
I like how looney tunes were like “wouldn’t it be funny if a cute cartoon character suddenly yelled extremely loud and furiously in a totally regular man’s voice” and then they just used that gag a million times and it always was funny
